comfort where you least expect it

I was thinking about this as I was getting ready to sleep. An hour later-these are my middle of the night thoughts...

So today, a change was made in me.  Nothing huge, not remarkable to anyone who happened to see me, but something that changed my attitude and the way I view myself.  Not in and of itself a change that would forever alter my course in life but one small triumph that when combined with many others like it will change who I am.  Even to myself it is odd to chose the word triumph.  After all, the original realization yet again that I am far more selfish a person than I would ever care to admit is hardly initially a triumphant one.  Rather, a depressing one in all honesty. And one which my sinful flesh tries hard to eradicate from my thoughts.  A hurtful blow to the pride for sure.  Yet one that the Spirit insists we all feel. But our Father is gracious, He never leaves us in the saddened state of inward loathing for He is a forgiving God and one who only causes us to see our true selves bit by bit so that we may not only see His grace but be comforted by the simple knowledge that He Himself takes an active role in our hearts.  Often times it is hard for me to see the hand of God in my life, many times because I do not have the right mindset and do not open my eyes to see but when conviction occurs it is impossible not to notice.  My heart on its own never wants to see it’s flaws, imperfections, and gross remnants of darkness- will inevitably fight it.  And yet the gentle mercy of God refuses to back down and breaks through my walls of stubbornness and pride til I admit that I am in the wrong.   That I am incredibly centered on and absorbed in my own self.  That I do not love others the way He loves.  Here I could go on and on about the grace and mercy and forgiveness of God and it would be fitting and good to do so but today I was especially encouraged by the fact that God intervened in my heart.  To feel that He takes a special interest in growing me up into the image of Christ.  Not a casual interest or something to do to pass His eternity of time but He in fact takes joy in involving Himself in my innermost being.  Until the time He calls me home He will continually be guiding me with His rod and staff that remind me that He will complete that which He began in me.  How good is it to know that He will never leave me or forsake me.  That I am His child and there’s nothing I can do about it.  No one, not even self-centered, prideful me, can ever snatch me out of His hands.  No matter if I am faithless, He remains faithful-- for He cannot deny Himself.  All because this is who my God is.  Faithful in His very essence and as such I never need fear that I am left to sanctify myself on my own.   Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. Jude 1: 24,25